Living in Rome

This is an old blog post from May 2017…

Uncertain of how long I was coming for, I arrived in Rome on May 1, 2014. At the time, I knew deep down I wanted to stay, but I had told everyone I was coming “for a little while” and I had only packed for the summer. Yet, I don’t think that at that time I could’ve imagined I’d end up staying for as long as I have.

When I first arrived, I saw everything as if through a child’s eyes. Everything was new to me, and all the sights, sounds, and smells moved me. There is beauty everywhere here, from the historic buildings and monuments to the people and the food. The city is undoubtedly chaotic, and walking the streets of Rome you hear scooters running past, cars honking, and ceramic coffee mugs clinking as you pass the countless bars serving fresh coffee. Coffee is also a distinctive part of Rome, as is the aroma of fresh “cornetti” (that’s the Italian word for croissants), tomato sauce, and garlic. Finally, all the food is of high quality and naturally, so incredibly good: pizza, pasta, and even simple foods or salads that I would prepare at home were so tasty. Thinking back on it, I can definitely say that arriving in Rome enhanced all my senses.

It took several months for reality to set in and also to start noticing the downsides of Italy. After having found a job, an apartment (one that wasn’t short term and therefore wouldn’t be kicked out of, as the previous couple of months), and some new friends, I started to feel good and was enjoying what was becoming my new life.

However, once I was no longer on vacation and had to get productive, the inefficiency of this country became evident. Taking care of life’s necessities and normal everyday things such as going to the bank, mailing something, seeing a doctor, running errands, or even shopping took longer, as in…dreadfully longer.

For starters, everything closes at lunchtime, which in Italy usually means from 1:00 pm to 4:00 pm!! “How long does it take someone to have lunch?” and “Does everyone have to have lunch at the same time?” were the thoughts going through my head at the time. Still, out of habit, I kept going out in the early afternoon to try to get things done only to find everything closed. Once I would finally get there during working hours, getting something done took several visits as they would always tell me I needed something more, and each time that “something” was different.

Another thing was that people here generally move slowly. In the beginning, many people asked me why I was in a hurry or told me that I walked fast. Then, there were the long distances. Rome is a big city, and it takes time to get from one place to another. Plus, buses are slow. Needless to say, this caused a lot of frustration for an American who is used to efficiency and coming from a culture where the belief is “time is money”.

Finally, I started to miss things from home that I had never paid much attention to. Aside from missing the obvious things like family and friends, I started to miss little things. For example, I missed quiet coffee shops, where you can sit and read a book or take your laptop and work for hours without being disturbed. I especially noticed this after spending the summer in England. When I got back, I missed the Starbucks and the American style coffee shops they have. I actually experienced culture shock coming back to Italy and going for breakfast one Sunday morning. I woke up and wanted a relaxing breakfast out, so naturally I went to the bar near my house. Rather than the peace and quiet I had in mind I got a crowded, loud, chaotic bar. It made realize that we take things for granted.

Eventually I learned to do things the way Italians do. For one thing, now I avoid trying to get anything accomplished between the hours of 1:00 pm to 4:00 pm. Instead, I use that time to also have lunch, have a cup of coffee, and relax. I have also learned that if I really need to do something during lunchtime, there are actually some places that don’t close midday (Orario Continuato they call it), and I’ve found that this time is in fact the best time to go as they’re usually not crowded since everyone is busy eating.

Next, I learned not to leave my neighborhood if I don’t have to. A big city like Rome has an overwhelming number of places to choose from, but there is actually one of everything within a short distance. There’s no need to go far, and this has saved me lots of time. Nowadays, once I discover a place, I tend to stick to it; that way I don’t waste time trying to figure out where it is (another time saver in this confusing city) or how it works (trust me on this one).

A few months after I had started working, I bought a bike, which not only has made moving around easier but it’s also great exercise and far more enjoyable than riding the bus.

Last, I learned to appreciate the social atmosphere of coffee shops here.

Although I did eventually learn to slow down a bit, I still find people slow. That I can’t seem to get used to…so I always take a book, grab a number as soon as I walk in (there’s always a number), and am ready to wait. I also never plan to do too many things in one day because that would just be asking for a stressful day.

It no longer feels strange or hard to believe that I live in Rome….what took some time to set in was the reality that this has become my life and so normal…Italy has become a part of my life and consequently a part of me. There are things here that I now can’t imagine not having in my everyday life.

I can’t imagine what it’d be like not to start my day off with a delicious cappuccino or to go to one of the “social” coffee shops that I frequent and not be greeted by a friendly smile or “Bella” and my coffee of choice being quickly prepared without me even having to tell them what that is, as the barmen of Rome are exceptionally good at remembering these things.

I can’t imagine not passing some incredible, ancient structure to gawk at on my way home. I definitely can’t imagine not going for an evening stroll in one of the many characteristic neighborhoods, by far my favorite Roman activity. Last but not least, I can’t imagine what I would do with my Sunday afternoons not having so many options to choose from.

I’m not the shy, quiet, somewhat naive girl that arrived here three years ago, a bit confused and unsure of herself. I’ve gone through some low moments and definitely some questionable ones. This is why making a change isn’t easy. If it were, more people would do it more often. But in the end, I love living here, the person I’ve become, and the life I’ve set up for myself here. I’ve grown a lot in these three years: I am now open, outgoing, and confident. Although I gave up a lot to get here, I find it’s been worthwhile. Perspective is everything, and there’s no better way to get a new one than looking at things from a different place.

For more photos of Rome, check out my Flickr album “Life in Rome”:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/msantisi/albums/72157674939724805