My Story

By the time I was 30, I had given up my dreams of travelling, photography, and living a life worth telling for a safe stable job and the life that came with it. I had a secure job where I made good money, great friends, and a long-term boyfriend I shared a nice cozy house with, so naturally I started thinking about the next step.

A lot of people would tell me that I should be so proud of all I had accomplished. They told me I had done more than the average 30-year-old woman. But I felt empty, an emptiness I couldn’t shake off no matter how hard I tried. After dealing with this weight for such a long time that it was affecting all of my relationships and my personal well-being, I finally did something about it.

I gave up everything – my relationship, job, and house – and bought a one-way ticket to Rome. It didn’t all happen at once, and maybe each event led me to the next one.

First, the relationship fell apart. At the time, I felt like it was the end of my world. However, I appreciate now that had it not been for that, I might’ve never found the strength to make the changes that came next.

Then, I quit my job and took some time off work. This gave me the freedom to travel a bit, devote more time to my interests, and explore other career options, as the one I had wasn’t doing it for me.

Finally, I found a friend to rent out my house, allowing me to head to Italy for what was an undetermined amount of time.

The result: it enthralled me with new life and energy. I remember an older colleague of mine giving me a simple piece of advice back when I left my job; he said “Just look forward now, don’t look back, kid.” I’ve done just that ever since. Moving to a new country gave me the opportunity to reinvent myself, meet so many different people from diverse backgrounds, and pursue a career that I’m better suited for and affords me the time and energy to dedicate to my passions and the more important things in life.

When I tell people my story, they tell me I’m courageous, that it takes guts to do what I did. Sometimes I wonder if it was courage or craziness. One person told me they’re both the same thing sometimes.

At times, looking back on it, I’ve thought that I was nuts for having done that. But I had no other choice. I couldn’t continue on as I was, so something had to be done. I believe that sometimes we have to reach that low point to find the courage to make a change.

So courageous or crazy – I’ll let you decide…

After only a few months of being in Rome, I saw a sign at the bar near my house where I would sometimes get breakfast that read “Starting a new path is scary, but after every step we realize how dangerous it would have been to stay still.” I later learned that the quote comes from Italian actor Roberto Benigni, who not only I love but is one of the first Italian actors I got into when I started watching Italian cinema.

“Whenever we want to make an important decision, it is best to trust impulse and passion, because reason usually tries to remove us from our dreams, saying that the time is not yet right. Reason is afraid of defeat, but intuition enjoys life and its challenges.”
“You should never forget that both attacking and fleeing are part of the fight. What isn’t part of the fight is becoming paralyzed by fear.”

Paulo Coelho

“For what it’s worth, it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be.
There’s no time limit, you can start whenever you want
You can change or stay the same
There are no rules to this thing
You can make the best of it or the worst of it
I hope you make the best of it…
I hope you see things that startle you
I hope you feel things you never felt before
I hope you meet people with a different point of view
I hope you live a life you’re proud of
And if you find that you’re not,
I hope you have the strength to start all over again”

F. Scott Fitzgerald’s “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”

“Each one of us is the sum total of all the moments we’ve ever experienced with all the people we’ve ever met.
These moments become our history.
These moments of impact define who we are.
A moment of impact whose potential for change has ripple effects far beyond what we can predict.
You can’t, no matter how hard you try, control how these moments are going to affect you.
You just gotta wait and see where it takes you.”

The movie “The Vow”